A few years ago, I decided it was time for a change. The time had come to start exercising.
I have spent the years since graduating with a degree in psychology helping other people to make changes in their life and so it was time to apply what I do for a living to myself.
The exercise enigma
Up until the beginning of 2016 I had never exercised with any regularity. Sure I (briefly) joined gyms, I trained for long charity bike rides, I ran a 5K, I did aqua aerobics, callisthenics, yoga….the list goes on. But I was never able to make that change permanent.
Quite simply I do not like exercise. Phew! It feels better to just come out and say it. Although I don’t like it, I have learned to enjoy it (afterwards!) and to appreciate the well-being benefits it brings me.
I’m now a couple of years down the line and I still regularly go to the gym and walk regularly with friends. I look and feel fitter and stronger than I have ever felt in my 40-something years. Don’t get me wrong, I am absolutely not an exercise guru and it is still a struggle sometimes, but I have changed – and it feels amazing.
I made this change happen by following a process that allowed me to create a personalised action plan.
Research shows that change is more likely to be long-term if you consistently follow a process and you tailor the actions you take to suit your needs.
Using a 7-step process I have cracked the exercise enigma and made change happen.
It is never too late to make change happen.
7 steps for making change happen
Step 1 - Clarify your why
Change needs to have a clear and valid reason.
For me it was imagining myself being so unhealthy (or worse) due to my lack of fitness that I wouldn’t be here for my family.
It’s one thing to know what you want to change, it’s another thing to know why it’s important for you to change it.
The challenge that keeps most people from staying consistent and disciplined with making the necessary actions to change their life is that they haven’t identified the reason that’s strong enough to mobilise change.
Liking things to change isn’t enough to make it happen.
You need to feel truly dedicated to the change, you must really desire and need it so badly.
Without this deep need for change that’s important to you it will be too easy to settle into complacency with how things currently are.
As humans we are very driven by trying to avoid painful situations – we naturally try to avoid loss. You can use this as a driving force to keep you on track and consistent to make the change happen that you want in your life.
Imagine what’s the worst that could happen if things remained how they are now.
What will you lose if a year from now, two years, five years, ten years from now if things get worse or stay the same. How painful would that be and how would that make you feel?
Step 2 – Work out your wishes
Allow yourself to dream big and think about:
What you want to do (for me it was to be fitter and stronger)
What you want to have
What you would want to do more of (or even start doing)
What you would do if no-one would laugh at you and you had all the time and money in the world
Now choose your one achievable and realistic wish to focus.
Setting a goal creates immediate change as it means you are taking control of this aspect of your life.
Step 3 – Focus on behaviours to change
Think about what you could do differently to make your goal happen.
Ask yourself what are all the behaviours I could do to make that goal happen?
Write a specific positive statement for each one with phrases like ‘I will’, ‘I have’, or ‘I am’, use a ‘doing’ word and include a timescale and measurable criteria.
The best way to think about wording these is to think ‘if someone else was watching me what would they say I was doing’?
The kind of behaviours I listed were: I will go to the gym 2-3 times a week, I will walk with friends at least 4 miles every weekend, I will stand up every time I make a phone call etc.
Step 4 – Pick one big impact behaviour
Pick only one of those desired behaviours to work on.
Choose the behaviour that will have the biggest impact for you for the least amount of effort.
Aim for quality, not quantity.
Change will come from one well thought through behaviour change. Don’t be tempted to work on all of them or most of them at once as that is much less likely to work and will frustrate you into inaction. Once you are successful with one change it will give you the confidence to tackle others. The important thing is to pick one to work on going forward.
I picked ‘I will go to the gym 2-3 times a week.
Step 5 – Commit to change
Now you can start moving into action by identifying who can help you, what you are going to do, where you are going to do it, when and how often are you going to do it?
It’s really important to write it down as it helps you to own the change.
Step 6 – Understand what needs to change
Ask yourself these questions
Do I have the necessary knowledge to do the behaviour?
Do I have the necessary skills to do the behaviour?
Do I believe that I can do the behaviour?
Do I feel motivated to do the behaviour?
Do I have the resources I need to do the behaviour (e.g. time, money, space)?
Do I have the support I need from other people to do the behaviour?
My biggest challenge was that I had no knowledge or skills about how to use the gym correctly. So, after making use of the free personal training session at the gym I discovered that I’d found myself a fabulous personal trainer. I still work out with him once a week and I’ve learnt so much about myself (I had a fear of jumping) and how to exercise properly and safely.
Step 7 – Take action
It is important to pick actions that are relevant to you and what you want to change. Simply copying what someone else has done or is doing isn’t necessarily going work for you in the long term. Aim to use as many different actions as possible and to use them long enough to have an effect.
We are more likely to change things if we track our behaviour because we are giving our attention to it.
Tracking behaviour provides you with feedback you are being successfully in making the change happen. It lets you watch your progress, keeps you accountable, increases your commitment and gives you evidence for giving yourself credit for your achievements and giving yourself a treat. It can be as simple as writing down what exercise you have done or you could use a fitness tracker.
Successful change is a long-term process and not a single event – it’s about progress not perfection.
If this article has resonated with you but you don’t know where to start click the link below to find our more about the 7-steps I used from the ‘Making Change Happen’ programme.
Best wishes
Behaviour Works aim is simple. To help make change happen in your personal, family or working life. Every week we help people across the world with their own change journey with our online training. Check us out at Behaviour Works.
Main photo by Edu Lauton on Unsplash
Journal Photo by Daria Shevtsova on Unsplash
Other photos by Eleanor
